An Exploration of Self-Understanding Through Relationships
Hello Igniters!
Last week I had the opportunity to facilitate a fireside conversation exploring the personal side of business transformation through the perspective of senior business leaders. My role was not only that of facilitator, but coach in preparing the panel for their moment in the spotlight. The expectation was that this was an opportunity for the leadership team to display vulnerability and inspire their teams as they continue to move through a significant cultural shift. In supporting the panel in their preparation, my approach was based in self-discovery exploring their unique experiences.
Insight Igniter Coaching Question for September 23, 2024:
What Did you Lean about Yourself?
This simple question is intended to stimulate reflection and introspection – encouraging you to identify strengths, limitations, behavioral patterns, and areas for improvement, crafting actions that foster healthy personal and professional relationships.
Personal transformation can be significantly influenced by the interactions we have with family, friends, and romantic partners. These relationships are fertile ground for self-discovery, exploring who we are, what we value, and how we will navigate our future. Whether it’s through moments of conflict, intimacy, collaboration, or celebration, we are shown aspects of ourselves that might otherwise remain hidden. Asking, “What did you learn about yourself?” encourages you to shift your focus from external influences on your own internal experience. When was the last time you had an argument with your partner? Maybe it escalated to a point where you had an over-reaction. Instead of solely focusing on what the other person did, asking what you learned about yourself can unveil insights like, “I learned that I have a hard time letting go of control,” or, “I realized that I’m uncomfortable with vulnerability.” These revelations help you understand your patterns that influence how you relate to others. As you learn to respond more constructively in future conversations, you gain more control, transforming conflict into an opportunity for growth rather than escalation.
In the ever-evolving world of business, leaders are required to guide their teams through uncertainty and complex business transformation. If the relationships between leader, team and key business partners is strained – the desired results may not be achieved. “What did you learn about yourself?” offers an opportunity for leaders to engage in meaningful introspection, driving both and professional evolution and organizational growth. Returning to the fireside chat, as the business leaders shared their lessons from both successes and failures, they encouraged psychological safety. “I learned that I need clarity on results so I can lead creatively,” or “I discovered my tendencies when faced with a challenge won’t go away, I need to create an approach to help me better respond.” These lessons not only help in improving relationships between team but also guide the leader in understanding their professional needs and leadership style. A few days after the fireside chat I had a leader on the panel reach out to me sharing an observable shift in their team dynamic “We are having conversations we didn’t have before. They are showing a willingness to acknowledge their mistakes and a desire to learn from them. It feels like we are operating more as a team.” Ultimately, this reflective practice ensures that leaders are not just driving results, but building relationships, growing in their capacity to lead with insight, empathy, and authenticity.
“What have you learned about yourself?” holds immense power when applied to your personal and professional relationships. You are encouraged to pause and reflect, moving your thinking beyond surface-level problem-solving into a deeper understanding of your behaviors, motivations, strengths, values and the impact they have on your relationships. As you identify areas where you may have contributed to relationship challenges you become empowered, taking ownership of your experiences. You can start developing actions and make conscious choices that positively contribute to you building stronger, more fulfilling relationships you just may find that you are better equipped to navigate life with purpose and clarity.
Until next time – Stay Ignited!
Best,
Stef