Shifting Perspectives: The Power of Assuming Positive Intent
Hello Igniters!
It’s been a whirlwind of events since the last issue of the Insight Igniter, and I must admit I am exhausted. It has been a physical and emotional roller coaster. With excitement, we moved into our newly renovated home and tearfully, we said goodbye to one of our furry family members – Mylo the cat. Sitting down trying to formulate a clear and concise message for you has been a challenge – I will give you, my best. Over the last 4 weeks I have been participating in the “Dare to Lead” program facilitated by my friend Diane Lloyd of Inspired Results Group. During the session from last Thursday, by happy circumstance, I had the opportunity to re-visit a thought that fundamentally changed my consulting approach and is a keystone in my coaching practice – it is the inspiration for this fortnightly coaching question.
Insight Igniter Coaching Question for October 21, 2024:
"What If They Are Doing Their Best?"
This question is an invitation to positively shift your perspective of others to build more meaningful relationships, enhanced empathy, and ultimately more productive outcomes.
Meaningful Relationships
Consider your most meaningful relationship – How would it be different if you viewed it though a lens of hostility and criticism? Not that great right? When you approach your relationships with the belief that others are doing their best, it fundamentally shifts the dynamics of the relationship celebrating each person’s unique contributions. Incorporating a mindset of positivity allows you to explore how assumptions shape your perception of others. I invite you to consider a workplace scenario where a team member is struggling to meet their performance targets. Instead of jumping to conclusions about their work ethic or capabilities, assuming they are doing their best allows you to approach the situation with curiosity and compassion – you are acknowledging the potential complexity of their situation. This mindset shift cultivates a healthy space for trust, understanding and honest dialogue about the employee’s challenges and obstacles, paving the way for meaningful connection. When your team members feel understood and valued, they are more likely to share their thoughts and feelings, fostering collaboration, team cohesion and improved moral.
Enhancing Empathy
The question “"What If They Are Doing Their Best?" prompts you to consider the circumstances that may be influencing an individual’s behavior. It encourages us to extend ourselves with empathy, responding to the emotions and circumstance of others with kindness rather than frustration. What might this look like? Validation is a powerful tool of empathy as it reinforces your shared emotional bond, that you recognize and value the feelings of others. I had a coaching conversation recently with a leader who expressed burnout, frustration and abandonment due to the lack of support they were getting from their leader – they felt unvalued. It was a difficult conversation for the leader who always came from a place of positivity. At a pause in the coaching session, I offered “I can appreciate how you feel, for what it’s worth I can see why feel the way you do”. This simple yet effective comment established that I was truly listening – the leader felt heard and understood. The coaching conversation from then on took a more positive outlook as we discussed how might they return to a sense of calm and centre. Our situational awareness of knowing when to extend empathy is a fundamental emotional reaction that that nurtures trust and is essential for building and maintaining meaningful relationships.
Productive outcomes
When we assume that others are doing their best, we bolster their motivation and sense of accountability ultimately delivering more productive outcomes. This assumption can be a powerful motivator for individuals, encouraging them to strive for improvement without the fear of criticism. Your focus as a leader is to shift from blame to growth, prompting individuals to reflect on their efforts and identify areas for enhancement. When people feel that their efforts are recognized and appreciated, they are more likely to take ownership of their results. For context, after completing a project that didn’t deliver as expected, a business leader can engage the team in a postmortem, reflecting about what worked well and what could be improved. By assuming that everyone is trying their best, the team is more likely to approach these conversations constructively, identifying lessons learned rather than placing blame. This focus on growth not only enhances individual performance but also contributes to the long-term success of the organization.
The coaching question, "What If They Are Doing Their Best?" sets you on a trajectory toward greater understanding and connection with others. I encourage you to check in with yourself by asking “What evidence do I have that supports my assumption?" or "How might I approach this situation differently if I believed they were doing their best?" this can lead to significant insights in our relationships, enhance our ability to express empathy and deliver more productive outcomes.
Until next time – Stay Ignited!
Best,
Stef