Discipline Decoded: Learning to Recognize and Replace Limiting Patterns
Hello Igniters!
As the holidays are fast approaching, I trust that you are looking forward to decompressing and spending quality time with friends and family. This is issue 23 of the Insight Igniter and part 2 of 3 of a series in which I explore the concept of discipline (Part 1 can be found here). For me discipline is an internal force that enables us to persevere through challenges, resist distractions, and remain aligned with our deepest aspirations. Yet, even for the most determined, there exist moments where our discipline wavers. It’s these moments that have inspired this issue of the Insight Igniter:
The Insight Igniter coaching question for December 16th, 2024:
“What habits or patterns are currently limiting your ability to stay disciplined?”
I see this question as timely, with temptation and gluttony baked into the holidays. It doesn’t ask us to critique our character or label ourselves as “undisciplined” - instead it shifts the focus to our behaviors. Let’s explore how sitting with this question can shift our focus to our behaviors, emotional patterns and encourage action.
Behavioural Awareness
I recently had a coaching session with a new leader who was struggling with processing feedback on their performance in meetings with the leadership team. “I’m being told I come across unprepared and defensive”. The leader commented that these meetings were of high importance to them because it was an opportunity to get visibility on their leadership and a voice for their team – sharing the value and success their team was delivering. As the coaching session progressed, I poked at their habits and patterns in preparing for the leadership meeting. An uncomfortable long pause hung in the air. The leader had their “Aha moment” their behaviour of not being disciplined in creating space for thoughtful preparation, lead to their inability to communicate effectively which drove their defensiveness when challenged. As you sit with the question “What habits or patterns are currently limiting your ability to stay disciplined?” do so without judgment - awareness of your limiting habits is the first step in reclaiming control.
Emotional Patterns
Behind every habit, there’s often an emotional driver. Consider someone who struggles with saying “no”, leading them to overcommit or avoid difficult situations. Saying “no” becomes a default response which can be driven by fears of disappointing others, feelings of inadequacy, or the need for external validation. This habit creates a cycle where personal priorities are sacrificed, leading to frustration, burnout, and an inability to focus on meaningful goals. When you begin to recognize these emotional patterns, you can set healthier boundaries, reclaim your time, energy, and focus, enabling you to stay disciplined in your pursuit of what truly matters.
Encourage Action
“What habits or patterns are currently limiting your ability to stay disciplined?” is a reminder that discipline, like any other skill, is something we can continually refine. However, attempting to overhaul your entire routine overnight is a recipe for failure. Discipline grows through small, consistent victories—incremental progress that builds confidence and momentum. To build your Intentional actions consider the following 3 steps:
Reflect: Dedicate time to identify habits or patterns that may be holding you back. Write them down.
Experiment: Choose one limiting habit to address and implement a small, specific change. Test this change for a week and assess its impact.
Refine: Discipline is a dynamic process. Regularly revisit this question as your goals and circumstances evolve. Continuous reflection ensures that new challenges don’t go unnoticed.
Ultimately the question “What habits or patterns are currently limiting your ability to stay disciplined?” is not just about fixing behaviors. Whether applied to our personal or professional challenges, it encourages us to understand the emotional underpinnings that keep us stuck and develop meaningful actions in achieving what matters most and leading a life fully experienced.
Wishing you and yours a very Happy Holiday!
Until next time – Stay ignited!
Best,
Stef