Integrity On Trial: Lessons in moving from Defensiveness to Curiosity
Hello Igniters!
Integrity - at its core, is our unwavering commitment to do what is right, it aligns with our deepest convictions. Yet, this very quality that anchors our actions, decisions, and identity can also invite conflict. When our integrity is called into question it violently shakes our sense of self-worth, confidence, clouds judgement and tests our resilience and emotional restraint.
The Insight Igniter coaching question for November 18th, 2024:
"How do you respond when your integrity is called into question?”
Let’s explore how in these uncomfortable and unsettling moments, if we are brave enough, we are presented with a profound opportunity for reflection, growth, and strengthened character.
Space for Reflection
Despite our best intentions when our integrity is challenged, I would bet the farm most of us have the same initial reaction. A sense defensiveness and perhaps anger rises our inner DEFCON (Defense Readiness Condition) gets turned up. But layered beneath those emotions, there’s often a quiet uncertainty, a duality exists — a need to defend and a call to reflect. "How do you respond when your integrity is called into question?” can encourage us to move away from defensiveness. Creating the space to reflect on the situation we can replace knee-jerk reactions with curiosity. The next time you find your integrity being questioned consider:
What part of my actions might have led to this perception?
What does this moment reveal about how I communicate or establish trust?
Or even, why do I believe what I believe?”
Growth
"How do you respond when your integrity is called into question?” is an opportunity to explore our growth potential, redefining who you are and how you interact with the people in your life. As a leader, compromising integrity for speed of results can lead to long-term consequences such as damaged reputations, loss of trust, and reduced team morale. In a coaching session this week, a leader was being challenged with feedback “insensitivity and dis-trust” stemming from a decision made that fundamentally changed the team’s work structure and dynamic. As our conversation progressed the leader identified a missed opportunity to have a cathartic moment with their team – and perhaps this was driving the judgement of character. The leader left the coaching session with a commitment to practice a more deliberate approach to their communication – considering the feelings of team members when communicating sensitive messages. This issue’s question – when framed and explored effectively – fosters self-awareness and growth, ultimately strengthening leadership presence.
Strengthen Character
Each time our integrity is questioned, it is an opportunity to strengthen our character. Asking “How do you respond when your integrity is called into question?” can test your ability to hold onto your principles while remaining open to constructive feedback, the beliefs and viewpoints of others. As we move through life, gaining new experiences we are reminded that Integrity is not a static but a dynamic process of re-valuation of what you believe. When we meet these challenging moments with humility and curiosity, we can gain a stronger sense character aligning our values, words, and actions.
The question "How do you respond when your integrity is questioned by others?" is a powerful executive coaching tool. I trust that you found this issue of the Insight Igniter thought provoking – I have found myself that in writing it, I have challenged my own thinking. The next time you find your integrity being questioned, remember that it can be an invitation for refection, growth and strengthening of character in your pursuit of a life fully lived.
Until next time – Stay Ignited!
Best,
Stef